Because.

Because is an awful word. It's only used for excuses and consequential happenings. Can we erase it from the English language please? Its bothersome.

Do you know what else is bothersome? How awful today was. Truly, madly, deeply awful. I need to quit one of my jobs. Waking up at 8am to work from 9am until basically 9:30pm is not working. No thank you to 12 hour work days. It was supposed to be longer. Not having time to think is making me bitter and probably not fun to be around.

Today was just a gross day in general. Got in a fight (verbally not physically), hit every red light possible, did the same load of laundry twice at the Pike's house, felt like puking all day because of my neverending headache, realized how much I complain (yes I realize I'm complaining here too), and felt like a terrible person, while bored at work, freezing my butt off, and cutting hundreds of tiny paper rectangles for group ex schedules. This was followed by eating a gross dinner, almost falling asleep, my phone dying, and coming home not being able to sleep (go figure).

My blog has become my venting spot because I complain too often outside of it. People don't want to hear that. I don't blame them. But I'd like to be able to vent about crappy days to someone/something, so blog, you are it.

Lots of things hurt today: back, elbow, wrist, head, stomach, ankle. I hate that my ankle's getting worse again. I'm trying to ignore all these pains because I might drive my fiance crazy if I keep telling him what's hurting when. I wish they would all just stop. I find it unfair that I have the body of an 85 year old already. Apparently my youthful eras have passed already.

I guess I don't have much more to say today because I'm in an exceptionally bad mood for probably all stupid reasons. Happens. Wish it didn't. Trying to change or bury it. And lots of other things. I hate the way I feel today. Selfish? Maybe. Probably. Yes. Monday was so much better than today and the weekend doesn't really show signs of improvement since I'll be working on Mitch's 96 off. How did that work?

No happy thoughts today. I miss Mitch. I miss real school. I miss having friends. I miss Jaci. I miss having someone to talk to about all this.

I suppose the only upside of today is that I'll hopefully have enough money to pay off my medical bills and credit card and still have money left over to pay for our wedding and go to a therapist.

P.S. I hate the there are letters about Obama's election in the special edition of my textbook. Sweet.

P.S.S. Might go clubbing tomorrow night, might not. Probably not by the time I get done working. I'd like to think yes though.