The Difference

Am I right? Am I wrong? What's justified? How do you know the difference? I come across so many questions on a daily basis that I find I'm not qualified to answer or that my brain just can't process. Why? Is it because it's so preoccupied by a million other things? I can't even stay on the same thought long enough to attempt to answer those questions. Why?...No really...Why?

It makes no sense really. The simple questions like "Is this right?" are now becoming far more difficult for me to process. Am I doing it subconsciously to myself? I have no idea. Possibly.

I'd like it to stop. I miss last year and feel the need to be nostalgic about it.

Last year...

-things managed to be so bad and so good but the good triumphed.
-I wasn't neurotic.
-I trusted.
-I could stay awake later than 10pm.
-I began dating my future husband.
-September through January were the best months of my life so far.
-I was giddy.
-We were carefree.
-I was okay with who I was.
-I lived in incredibly perfect apartments.
-I was more organized.

Looking back on it, last year may have been the very best year of my life so far. I've been thinking a lot about when I started dating Mitch. Man I love him. Each day I'm apart from him I'm reminded of why I'm marrying him. My heart hurts to be away from him. I'm feeling very fortunate that he did not have to go to Iraq this summer, despite the intense challenges we faced (and are still facing). Regardless of whether our days are good or bad, at the end of the day my favorite place to be is snuggled up next to him having one of our many ramble sessions before we fall asleep. July 3rd seems so far away.

Sometimes I still ponder getting married sooner and having the actual ceremony later but, as the saying goes, patience is a virtue. I wish we had more time to spend together; time like last year. I think we're both attempting to cope and adjust to not seeing eachother as much and finding ourselves on incredibly different schedules, even though it's been like this for quite some time. I'm not sure, maybe its just me.

Tomorrow I work at 8am at EA and then am hopefully jetting up to see Mitch for the weekend. I need to think of something really good to do Monday. I want to make it special. He deserves it. He treats me like a princess and deserves being treated like a prince in return.

I hope my invisible readers have a good Labor Day weekend. Wear white while you still can!

God bless.